The Voices In My Head
by Rapidly Degenerating
Summary: When memory's all you have left, and even that memory starts to fail, what is there is there left? Just the voices.
1. Chapter 1

**Arbiter:** We need to get out of here.

**Cortana:** We're doing just fine.

The voices are driving him mad. He hears them even before he wakes up.

"Well, look who just woke up. How do you feel?" Another voice different. Not in his head. Just floating around.

He grunted. Where was his armor?

"What armor? John, you've been in a coma for the last two years. Whatever you thought, it's not real. Please open your eyes."

**Johnson:** Don't do it, son!

**Cortana:** Listen to the doctor. He can help you.

He opens his eyes, and nearly goes blind from the sheer white.

Everything's white. Ceiling, walls, bed, floor... Even the doctor with his white hair, white coat and pale skin seems washed out.

"There we are." The doctor checks something on a little clipboard thing, and nods approvingly.

**Arbiter:** I don't like him.

**Johnson:** Don't trust him.

He closes his eyes again and screams mentally at the voices to be quiet. The female voice obeys, but he can still hear the other two, the male voice with a slight accent, and the deep baritone, slightly alien voice.

**Johnson:** Well ain't this a pretty conundrum.

**Arbiter:** Puzzling, indeed.

He snarls internally and again opens his eyes. The doctor is looking concernedly at him.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine." But he knows he's not.

**Arbiter:** Define 'okay'.

**Johnson:** Like he ain't gonna die, idiot.

"I think you should rest."

I am resting! You just said I was in a coma! Why? How? When? He yelled internally. Externally, he obediently closed his eyes and slowed his breathing.

**Cortana:** Don't sleep. We'll need to find a way out.

**Arbiter:** Sleep. You need actual rest.

John slept, against his will.

He woke up to the tail end of a conversation between his voices.

It was actually mainly the male with the swagger.

**Johnson:** So if you're his intellect, I'm his warrior and Squid-head's his different-ness, then- Yes. I know it's not a word, Mr. Helpful.

**Arbiter:** I only wished to inform you that-

**Johnson:** Shut it, splitlip. Anyways, where's his ego? Seems to me he needs one.

**Arbiter:** Dead, if we have any luck at all.

**Cortana:** Probably, his subconscious chose us for a reason. I see no need for his ego to be a part of this.

He listened carefully, the formulated a thought directed at the voices.

_Shut up._

**Johnson:** Well look who got up on the wrong side of bed today.

_Who are you_, he thought back.

**Cortana:** We're your intellect, your brawn and... What did you say earlier?

**Arbiter:** His alien-ness, I believe was said.

**Cortana:** Yes. That.

_Why are you in my head_, he thought, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

**Johnson:** We don't know.

**Cortana:** Actually, I have a pretty good idea. When you were in your coma, you dreamt. And we are, I think, traits that featured greatly in these 'false' memories.

_This isn't right_, he sent.

**Arbiter:** I have another theory.

**Cortana:** Ahem, I thought I was the intellect.

**Arbiter:** Listen to what I have to say. My theory is that the memories aren't false. These are the false dreams.

**Cortana:** You don't have an- Hey, I think that might work. It'd explain some things, at least.

_Like what_, he wondered.

**Johnson:** In case you didn't notice, that doctor is not very... Doctory.

**Cortana:** What your brawn is trying to say is, that's not you're treated in a hospital.

_I thought something was off_, and he knew he was right. Something was strange about this.

**Johnson:** I agree with alien-guy over there. This ain't right.

**Arbiter:** That's a first.

**Johnson:** Don't mean I like you.

_Shut up_, he thought again.

"I'm sorry?"

He nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of the female voice. He would, but he's so weak from his 'coma' that he can't. "Who are _you,_" he repeats for the second time in as many minutes.

"They told me that you might not remember me. I'm Kelly." There was a long pause, in which he could hear the voice squabbling again.

"Your girlfriend," she says after sighing.

**Cortana: **Liar!

He finally opens his eyes. She looks exactly like the Kelly he remembers, every single detail. Minus the armor.

"Remember me now?" She says, a slight smile ghosting across her face.

He remembers something for a second.

Then it's gone.

**Cortana: **She's luck I'm not real right now. I'd slap her.

**Johnson: **Pretty sure you don't have hands.

_Shut up, for the last freaking time! _He roars into his head. _I'm trying to have a normal conversation-_

**Arbiter: **Is that even possible with you?

He ignores that voice.

"You look tired. I'll let you sleep," Kelly/Not-Kelly says. "I'll see you tomorrow!" She stands from the puffy brown chair and practically bounces out through the white door.

_More white. Yuck. _

**Johnson: **Not very Kelly-like.

_Do you always make up words? _Truthfully, it's starting to hurt his head.

**Arbiter: **Yes. Unfortunately.

**Johnson:** Stop whinin' and go to sleep!

He closes his eyes and wishes that it were that easy.

* * *

**A/N: Right. Johnson's an ass. Really. But he's fun to write dialogue for.**

**This is slightly inspired by a Stargate Atlantis episode that I can't remember the name of. But it was awesome.  
**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. **

**I also don't own Halo or any of the characters. Except the random doctor.**

**I don't own Stargate Atlantis either.  
**

**R&R.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

The weeks that follow proceed much as John expects. The Voices (he's started to think of them with a capital letter) squabble, Kelly/Not-Kelly talks (a **lot.**), and he's discharged from the Hospital (again with a capital letter).

It's only once he's finally, euphorically free that things start to get interesting.

"What do you mean, the Covenant is peaceful?" He asks Kelly/Not-Kelly.

**Arbiter: **She means that this world isn't the same as your memories.

**Johnson: **Duh.

She looks at him skeptically. "You really don't remember anything, do you." It's not a question, not one that he can answer. "I'll give you a quick history lesson. When humanity finally went to the stars, we found exactly what we'd expected- a great big puddle of nothing. But we kept searching, and in due course we found the Covenant. They were a peaceful coalition of various races led by the San 'Shyuum. They offered us entrance, and we accepted-"

He interrupts her. "So we're part of the Covenant?"

She glares at him. The weeks have strained their already not so serene relationship.

Thank God.

"Yes. We are. The Covenant offered us so much, and we took it and asked for more. But some people were suspicious, and this led to the petty brawls between factions. But they were quashed easily. The Covenant's all we've ever found out there, other than a few Forerunner relics and some extinct races' ex-planets. No Flood, no angry Brutes, no lying Prophets."

He pondered this for a few seconds, listening to the squall of protest from his common sense.

Wait.

Since when did he think of the alien entity in his mind as his 'common sense'?

John decides that the thing just needs a better name.

**Arbiter: **_Thank _you.

He half-grins at this, then quickly straightens his face as Kelly/Not-Kelly shoots him a weird look from her bright pink armchair.

Bright. Freaking. Pink.

**Cortana: **Pink. Yuck.

"So..." He says at last. "What happened then?"

"We continued colonizing planets. Everything here is perfect, is perfect on every world. This is a world without sin."

Her last sentence drives his mind into hyperdrive. He's heard that before.

**Arbiter: **It's tied into everything.

**Cortana: **It's so obvious, but why can't we see it?

He feels then swim forward into his eyes, absorbing every detail.

His hands, not armor pale but tanned. The hair in his eyes, the long sun lightened strands. The gold chair he's sitting on.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I have work to be doing." Not-Kelly stands and leaves.

He rests his head on his hands. He's so tired. And the pink is hurting his eyes.

It's strange to be unaugmented. He's not as strong, not as fast, not as quick to respond. He can't even see properly, as demonstrated by the pink blinding him.

He feels the Voices swim around his mind reassuring him, suppressing his tiredness.

_It's funny, _he thinks, _a few weeks ago I could barely hear you. Now I feel you swimming around in my brain. _

**Cortana: **We're getting stronger with every doubt you have. And you have so many.

**Johnson: **Here's an idea. Why don't we all focus on getting the hell out of this freaky-ass place?

_Brilliant. Any ideas? _He figures sarcasm should get the Voices to shut up for a while.

**Johnson: **Nope.

Well, there's that theory out the window.

**Cortana: **Maybe this is the 'real' world. Maybe Not-Kelly's right. But this can't be a world without sin. Stay here, find out what you can.

_I have an idea. _Not-Kelly's part of the 'UNOI', the United Nations Office of Investigation. That's the work she's doing right now. _She should have information. _

The Voices think. John hears them think. Not a pretty system, if you really think about it._  
_

**Cortana: **How will you get said information?

**Arbiter: **Her mail. She gets some each day.

**Johnson: **Do ya honestly think they're so stupid, they'll send her stuff, classified stuff, without making sure it gets to her specifically?

**Arbiter: **Yes.

_My common sense is right. They'll send her stuff. This **is**, after all, a 'world without sin'. And once we have that stuff, we can go wreak havoc. If it's bad stuff._

**Johnson:** I'm likin' you more and more.

**Cortana: **But won't they find us? They'll obviously have prepared for this, even if there is no crime.

He stands, strides over to the shuttered window and throws the shutters wide. Outside, the twin suns are blazing, and the brilliant silver grass waves in the garden.

Everything's peaceful on Paradise. There are no predators, and even no herbivores. The water, filled with amino acids, is in a state similar to that of early Earth when the first cells formed. It's all you need to live.

_No. _He thinks, after admiring the first of two sunsets. _They won't be prepared for this._

_

* * *

_**A/N: Not the longest thing in the history of the universe, but ****my brain hurts so it'll have to do. **

**You know what to do now.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

John pokes his head carefully out of his room into the brown hallway. The framed pictures seem to watch him as he checks that Not-Kelly's nowhere to be seen.

**Arbiter:** She left for work an hour ago.

**Johnson:** Don't that mean she'll have taken her stuff with her?

John shuts the voices out and stalks as quietly as he can across the hall to Not-Kelly's room. He can't afford to have doubts.

**Arbiter:** We are your doubts. You can afford to have us.

_Shut up and stop reading my thoughts_, John snaps at his common sense.

**Arbiter:** We_ are_ your thoughts.

John goes back to ignoring the Voices and quietly pushes the door to Not-Kelly's room. He winces when the white door squeals loudly.

Then he's in. Her room is bright, with a simple bed of mahogany wood, covered in pink and green covers, dominating the center of the room. It's also larger than his room, and painted a deep purple. His room is a deep lapis lazuli, and without the bed.

He sits down at her small desk, and looks around for a computer. There's just a small metal plate inset in the wood, so he presses it.

Something flickers into being above the plate, a sculpture of intricate wires and glass. It fluidly coils in midair, wires writhing like an eel, the glass glinting menacingly.

"Intruder," it say in a voice simultaneously machine and blood.

**Cortana: **An AI. Not a cute and cuddly one, either.

"Who are you?" John asks in return.

The thing seems to ponder this for a few seconds. "I am Cæná."

"Hi. I'm John."

**Cortana: **Really?

Cæná seems to brighten at this. "Do you know the password?"

"Umm... No? Can you give me a hint," he asks, hoping desperately that it would.

"Truth is truth and lie is lie, bridge this gap and you will see."

John thinks. _Little help here?_

**Johnson: **Can't help ya here.

**Arbiter: **Ask your intellect.

His intellect remains quiet. _Hello? Intellect? It looks like it's gonna bite me. Hurry up. _

**Cortana: **This statement is lie.

"This statement is a lie," he repeats. Cæná bounces where it hovers, then vanishes.

"Access granted," it says, sounding like it would rather have ripped his face off than disappear quietly.

"Thank you." No response. Just a computer screen that pops up, displaying something that looks _really _classified.

"Here goes nothing," he mutters to himself, and taps the screen.

As he browses through all the military secrets, he realizes something; these are secrets from what he remembers.

They have absolutely _bugger-all _to do with anything here.

"Shit," he says and sits back.

**Johnson: **Told ya so.

The AI appears again. "Do you like what you see?"

"No," he growls. It bounces. "Do you have any actual files?"

"No."

John sighs. He's already had to deal with _enough _annoying AIs in his life, even if they were just 'dreams'. "Do you know me, Cæná?"

It writhes happily, or at least what he assumes is happiness. "Yes! You are John!"

"Great. Do you remember what I used to do for work?" Not-Kelly hadn't told him. Actually, she hadn't told him a lot.

"Yup! You worked with Mistress!"

_Mistress? _

**Cortana: **Apparently it's Not-Kelly's AI.

**Arbiter: **_No_, really?

**Cortana: **You're really annoying, you know that?

**Arbiter: **I believe I do.

John rests his head on the desk, bracing himself for another petty squabble between Voices.

It doesn't come. He hears real voices, the Voices themselves, not in his head but echoing down a long tunnel. Sparks flicker in his eyes, and for an instant, one glorious instant that he never wants to end, he feels armor, sees familiar faces hovering over him, hears gunfire.

Then it's gone.

"Are you okay, John?" Cæná asks.

For the first time since he heard it speak his name, he realizes that it puts strange inflections and sibilant hisses in random places. All of a sudden, he doesn't trust it.

Not that he ever did, but this just brings his distrust to another level.

"I'm fine," and with that he stands shakily and stumbles out of Not-Kelly's room.

**Cortana: **At least that answered some questions.

_Like what, exactly?_

**Arbiter: **What you used to do for work. And now we know where you can go to get information.

**Cortana: **You. Stop interrupting me. But that's right. It also raised some questions.

_Such as..._

**Arbiter: **Such as just _how _bossy your intellect can be?

**Cortana:** Shut up. Such as, what the hell happened? What triggered that 'episode'?

_Excellent question. I have no sweet clue. _He sinks down onto his bed, huffing at a strand of hair in his face.

**Arbiter: **You also need a haircut.

_**Thank **you. _

**Arbiter: **You're welcome.

_Just shut up, _he groans. Then he snorts._ Now I'm having arguments with the Voices_, he thinks to himself, trying not to broadcast it to said Voices.

There's no answering jibe, so he must have succeeded.

_Well, I guess I'll just have to persuade Not-Kelly to let me go back to 'work'- the only question is, how?_

**Cortana: **You'll think of something. 

_

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry this took a while! We lost power for a week, cause of some hurricane that smashed through here, then I went to Ottawa for a weekend. **

**But anyways, thank yous to Se****rgeant Dreamer (awesome name, btw), dragonbreather4568, twigggy and all the other people whom favorited this and added it to their alerts. You guys make me happy. **

**I finally found the SGA episode that inspired this . It's the season three episode 'The Real World'.  
**


End file.
